Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Finally it’s done!! The Latter Day Church of Jesus Christ 2007 Spring General Assembly is now available to all who wish to acquire a copy. The church will make copies available to all through our publishing arm The Times & Seasons Press. The Spring General Assembly is the first general assembly of the year for The Latter Day Church of Jesus Christ the second to be held in the winter. We would like to thank all those for the help they have given, no matter how small, in making this DVD a reality…God bless you all.

A new revelation was presented to the church by the Prophet last Sunday and was met with great enthusiasm by all the members of the church. As is usual the revelation has been inserted in to the book of Prophesy & Revelation and has also been put in to the churches collection of revelations to be used by the church as a teaching aid.

The Church library is slowly taking shape with a collection of Books, tracts and also DVD’s they are there to be used so please make good use of them weather for a talk or simply just for study, remember that it is by knowledge that we shall know God, so please use the library. We hope to be able to add such things as pictures and book marks and posters to the library soon so please keep yourselves up to date with what is in the library.

Once again our door is always open and our Prophet is always available for you to talk to so please visit or drop us a line. God bless and keep you. On the lighter side, as we do have one! Here is some wonderful funnies that Vicki Gill wife of the Prophet Found…..we love these!! ENJOY

"What if the Book of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?"

Nephi: Of goodly parents I was born I've never drunk, I've never sworn This is Lehi, he's my dad Laman, Lemuel, they are bad And who is this? Why this is Sam Yes, this is Sam;
Sam: Sam I am
Laman: That Sam I am, that Sam I am I do not like that Sam I am
Sam: In a tent, my father dwelt
Laman: And it's so hot, I think I'll melt
Lemuel: Our father's brain is out of whack
Laman: Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back
Lehi: Then go and get the plates my dear
Laman: On second thought, I'm staying here
Nephi: You said you'd leave and go away Now all you want to do is stay?
Lemuel: That Nephi always gets his way
Laman: Here we are in this damp cave
Sam: We would not be here if you'd behave
Nephi: I will go and I will do There's the angel, that's my cue Laban's had too much to drink Now he'll lose his head, I think
Nephi: Look what I found, a brother from the quorum
Sam: We will take him home, we will call him Zoram
Lemuel: Oh great, another pathetic life form
Laman: Our gold and silver we have spent I do not like it in this tent
Lemuel: I cannot read the Liahona I must have drunk too much Corona
Laman: We hate it here, we have no lives
Lehi: Then go back to the city and get some wives
Lehi: A tree, a tree, I see a tree The fruit is white, the fruit is free A floating building, could it be? Why do they laugh and stare at me? Laman, Lemuel, come and see
Laman: We will not eat your precious fruit
Lemuel: We will not wear a tie and suit
Laman: We will not help you build your boat
Lemuel: We do not think that it will float
Laman: No not this boat, it will not float Not even in a shallow moat I do not care what Nephi wrote
Lemuel: We will not eat your fruit I say
Laman: We will not eat it on a tray
Lemuel: And we won't eat it in a tent Not even if your clothes you rent
Laman: We'd rather have a can of spam
L & L: We will not eat it, Sam I am
Sam: You do not like it, so you say Try it, try it, and you may Try it and you may I say
Laman: Sam, if you will let us be, We will try it, you will see
L&L: Say, we like this fruit of life Sorry that we caused such strife You've saved us from an awful jam Thank you, thank you, Sam I am

Real Creation of Eve

So, God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" And God replied, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "So, what could I get for a rib?" And, the rest is history.

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